Author/Company:
Pia Mellody
Topics:
Love Addiction, Self-esteem
Title I Would Give it:
What Love Addiction is and an Introduction to the Underlying Problem: Codependence
Overview:
Facing Love Addiction explains how love addiction works. It explains two relationship styles that develop to protect one’s self: love addict and love avoidant. The book describes how these two styles relate to each other and defines exactly what an unhealthy relationship looks like.
Facing Love Addiction also introduces readers to the concept of codependence and explains what healthy relationships are like. The book also outlines how to re-enter a relationship after codependence recovery work or how to enter a new relationship if you were not in a relationship when the recovery process started.
How I found it:
I first heard the term Love Addiction on a cable news talk show. After doing some research, I ran across this book.
What I learned:
I learned that I have the characteristics of both a love addict and a love avoidant. This makes it impossible to maintain the connections that I want in my life. I also learned that I am a codependent. While this reality hurt, it also felt good to understand what was going on within me so I could do something about it.
How it changed my life:
When I read Facing Love Addiction, for the first time in my life, I felt understood. It was shocking to me that someone could write this book without interviewing me. I had previously thought I might be crazy, but this book gave me the comfort of knowing the reality of my situation. After reading this book I had hope that I could feel “normal” and grow into a person with the ability to have healthy relationships.
Facing Love Addiction was the first step on my road to recovery from codependence.
Example from my real life:
After reading Facing Love Addiction I changed my focus from finding the woman that would make my life complete to improving my relationship with myself.
My favorite part/quote:
The Emotional Cycles of a Love Addict
Unrealistic Expectations
The 5 Core Symptoms of Codependence
Healthy Relationships
“Our notions about how to live life come from our connection with caregivers. Abandonment experiences leave children with the message of worthlessness, as well as with a distorted sense of how to care appropriately for themselves. When a child’s natural characteristics are not nurtured, the child develops dysfunctional coping behaviors that illustrate the five primary adult symptoms of codependence,” (p. 19).
Recommended for:
People who are in a relationship with someone or want to be with someone who cannot or will not “love them back.”
People with self-esteem issues.
People who had an experience of abandonment as a child (could be death, divorce, abuse, or a multitude of other experiences).
Product Website:
